Let’s be honest, kissing is supposed to feel good. It’s one of those little things that can build connection, chemistry, and intimacy. But what if you’re into the person, and just not into the way they kiss?
It can be awkward to admit, even to yourself. You might really like them, but every time you kiss, something feels off. Maybe they kiss too fast, too slow, too wet, or not enough. And now you’re stuck wondering, is it okay to feel this way?
Why This Happens
People kiss differently based on past experiences. What worked with someone else might not work with you. Some people just never learned what good kissing feels like, or maybe they think they’re doing it right because no one ever told them otherwise.
Also, kissing preferences vary a lot. Some people like soft and slow. Others go in with full passion. It’s personal.
Is It a Dealbreaker?
Not always. Bad kissing doesn’t mean it’s a bad relationship. But if kissing actually turns you off or creates distance between you, it’s worth paying attention to.
How to Talk About It (Without Hurting Feelings)
This part can feel uncomfortable, but communication helps. Here’s how you can bring it up gently:
-
Don’t say “you’re a bad kisser.”
That just sounds hurtful. Instead, talk about what you like. Try saying something like, “Hey, I love when we kiss, but can we try something a little different?” -
Make it playful.
Turn it into a moment of fun. You can say, “Let’s try something new,” or experiment with different styles together. A light mood makes it easier for both of you. -
Lead the moment.
Sometimes it helps to guide them with your hands or respond in the way you want them to match. Your body language can do a lot of the talking. -
Focus on what feels good.
Instead of pointing out what’s wrong, say what you enjoy. For example, “I really like it when you kiss me slowly” gives them a clear idea of what works for you. -
Give it time.
Sometimes people just need time to get in sync. As comfort and trust grow, kissing often gets better too.
What If It Doesn’t Improve?
If you’ve tried being open and there’s still no spark, it’s okay to ask yourself how important kissing is to you. Everyone has different needs. For some, it's a major part of feeling close. For others, it’s less of a big deal.
There’s no right or wrong answer, what matters is how you feel, and whether the connection still feels strong in other ways.
Final Thoughts
It’s totally normal to feel awkward about something like this, but remember, you’re not the only one. Relationships are full of little things we learn to work through, and kissing can be one of them. Honest, kind communication often makes all the difference.
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